God sometimes teaches me through dreams. I had one of those last night. Because I remembered the most dramatic/traumatic situation the best, that’s the one dealt with first. Stay tuned for the whole dream, in other words. Also keep in mind that, in dreams, I am not always the same person I am in real life. In dreams, I sometimes temporarily step into the body of a character in a story, similar to how we do when we’re reading a book. This is such a dream.
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In the dream, I was a primary grade teacher at what I think must have been a church gathering at a city park. We were all sitting on long strings of old, wooden benches set along both sides of a picnic shelter. The middle area between the 2 seated rows of people was open, concrete floor space.
Dream segment best remembered upon waking: He was a young boy, 5 or 6. We knew each other well, and we had loving rapport as student and teacher. I was sitting on the wooden bench when he came up to me with overflowing glee about something. Because I’d been listening to an adult to my left, I acknowledged his presence with a touch on his back, but kept my eyes on the talking adult until there was a pause in their talking. When I finally turned to him, he had so much bottled-up excitement that he slapped my cheek with his hand. He started saying what he was excited about, but I wanted to grab “the teaching moment” while it was there.
Knowing he’d stop and think back, I put my forehead on his chest, right over his heart.
Indeed, he did stop talking and backed up so I’d raise my face to look at him. I put on a “sad expression.” Indeed, it dawned on him what he’d done.
“I’m sorry I slapped you.” He was about to continue his story, but then said, “Hey, you’re not really crying.”
I smiled and shook my head. He looked sad now, and I had the thought he was playacting, as I had been. So, I said, “You’re forgiven.”
However, his next words hit my heart: “I’m bad.”
I pulled him into a hug and said, “No, honey. You were just excited. You meant no harm. I barely felt it.”
When I released him, he walked away.
I stood and followed, wanting to “grab another teaching moment” to explain that I had known he was just excited and that he’s not a bad person. I wanted to explain that he should forgive himself once he knows he’s forgiven. I wanted to explain that, in fact, he was a sensitive enough kid that I’d known he’d think back and recall what he’d done.
I wanted to explain all that. However, as he neared the edge of the shelter and saw me coming, he ran. He disappeared around a building. I hurried to catch up. But, as I came around the same building, he was nowhere in sight. Just then, I realized he’d been “kidnapped by the enemy.”
—– Dream ended. ——
I woke up horrified that this great kid had run into “enemy territory” because of my exchange with him. Immediately, I began thinking and praying about the dream.
Looking at it from God’s perspective, I realized that I had not acted on what I knew of the kid’s heart. I’d grabbed the opportunity to teach when this particular kid didn’t need to be taught this lesson. I had taken on my role as teacher, treating him as I would a generic student I didn’t know well.
What would God have done? Knowing the excitement and the child’s heart, He would have ignored the slight and, instead, in that moment, listened to what the boy was saying. [I hadn’t listened well to the boy’s ongoing story.]
God would have known that (like I also should have known), once the boy was relieved of his story that demanded being told, he’d have realized he should not have bopped me. And, he’d have also realized that I had overlooked the slight without a word. Realizing that, this particular boy would have had an even more tender heart toward me than he’d had before.
That’s what God does. That’s how He pulls in His children toward Him, giving them tender hearts toward Him.
As I stared at the ceiling, I reprimanded myself for not doing what God does…for not doing what even my own human father used to do!
Yesterday, before this dream, I was thinking about a time when I’d created a burden on my sister and, as a trickle-down effect, on our Dad. Remembering that, I’d felt so badly, in retrospect. Later in life, I’d already apologized to them. Yet, yesterday, that memory still came up and I was still sorry. I wished I’d been a better person when I was a kid. At the time, I think Dad, knowing my heart, had explained the situation to my sister and all was okay. Looking back with knowledge about my human father, I’m pretty sure he orchestrated an understanding of me so my sister would feel better.
So, as I stared and pondered the dream and this event, God gently reminded me of the WHOLE dream, something that had occurred in the dream before this traumatic moment of kidnapping….a time when I’d had a good teaching moment in the dream.
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Dream Segment (what happened before my error in teaching): As a church, we were trying to decide what group game to play. Two of my students were sitting near me. The closest one was this little boy. The other student was his older brother. They were quickly discussing something in hushed tones.
After some nods and shared grins, these brothers jumped up into the middle area to announce their game idea. The older brother stood behind his little brother, held up his arm like he was holding a sword, and was about to speak when the younger brother, his back to the older, excitedly declared, “I have a game idea!”
The younger, then, tried to stumble his way through the explanation. The older glanced at me with an exasperated expression, knowing this was a garbled attempt to get everyone excited about a game the older had likely been most involved in creating. I flashed him a knowing nod, closing my eyes slowly, and grinned sympathetically. That was all the older needed. He knew that I knew the truth. So, then, he could swallow his pride and love his pesky little brother right through the disjointed instructions and give over the spotlight he seemed to need right then.
However, right then, an adult woman to my right stood up in front of the garbledy-gooking boy and hollered louder, “I know! Let’s play this!”
She went on to eloquently explain. I motioned for the shocked and disgruntled boys to come sit beside me again and gave an example of politely listening to this showboating woman. I knew all the adults around us would understand what just happened, so I knew they’d wait for all ideas to be completed before a game was chosen. In consolation, I patted both boys on their backs and held up a finger to wait and continue to politely listen. They did so, though they were still smarting to have been interrupted, by an adult no less!
Indeed, once she was finished, she stood there, hoping unanimous support for her idea would erupt in the audience. Instead, there were quiet smiles to her and several eyes on my students.
Taking the hint, the woman sat down. I honestly don’t know whether she was stewing about not getting her game chosen or whether her eyes were opened and she realized the boys were upset but still polite enough to have sat quietly and listened to her. (chuckle) My focus was now on the boys.
I put my arm behind both students and rested my hand on the older brother’s shoulder while I looked down at the younger. I said in a normal voice I knew would be heard by most, “I want to hear more about this game idea that you AND your brother came up with. Would you do that for us, please, before we see if there are any more ideas?”
They stood up and made a wonderful, JOINT presentation.
—– That’s it on the dream. ——
Conclusions:
God doesn’t treat us like generic children. He knows each of our individual and unique hearts. He customizes His lessons to each of us. He knows when to overlook slights. He has perfect timing in grabbing real teaching moments. He never messes up in His teaching. He overlooks the slights.
He knows my heart. I shouldn’t run off in thinking He doesn’t. That sends me right into the enemy’s hands.
He knows my heart. He knows when I’m hurt or shoved aside by another. It’s enough to know that. That knowledge is enough for me. Then, in that knowledge, knowing He’ll take care of it the best way, I can love my brother or my sister in the moment, whether or not they eventually see their error.
